Confidence...And a Lack Of

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ."
                                 2 Cor 3:4-5

Are you confident by nature? Do you command attention just by walking into a room?

I think I used to be that girl. I remember times when I felt like I shined, inside and out. I smiled and I beamed. I bounced through life with a light heart and really felt like I encouraged and helped others do the same.

Nowadays? Not so much. Between bills and appointments and Dirty Clothes Island out there in the hallway, I more of a long to-do list without many checkmarks. All the stress and the doubt makes it harder and harder for me to look past my insecurities (and maybe even my envy of how I perceive others and their lives?) and shine on.

Often I am nervous because I feel unworthy. I feel I'm not interesting enough to talk to. I feel like my blog isn't on the same level as another's and so, what's the point of participating in events and conferences? Nothing  I have to share would be valuable to others, so why bother?

No part of who I am is what they're looking for in a writer, a friend, a business partner.

I'm pretty tough on myself, aren't I? Does any of that awful self talk look familiar in some way to you? We can be so nasty to ourselves, can't we?

Thank goodness I can call on Christ when I feel my backbone turning to mush. Through him, my confidence is based on grace, love, and perfect acceptance of who I am.

That's a powerful combination and it's one that makes me the obnoxiously optimistic and happy girl that I normally am.

If Christ has accepted me and thinks I'm generally a worthy-type of girl, why shouldn't the lady sitting next to me at church think so? Or the kids I teach in my writing classes...why shouldn't they think I'm interesting enough to listen to for a half hour or so?

With Jesus' acceptance and love, I have what I need to be confident and let my light shine. And it takes all the pressure off my need to be witty and dazzling when meeting new people (it never works out that way, in case you were wondering)...instead, I can be myself and let the love of Christ shine on.

...happy, happy...